Saturday, February 28, 2009

hey, daffodil....

you sure are pretty and i'd like to thank you for heralding the start of spring year after year. you always seem to show up right when we most need a little proof of sunshine making it through the gray winter skies. but, seriously, daffodil. what's with your scent? yesterday i crawled around my house for 15 minutes trying to locate dog urine i was positive i kept smelling until i realized it was you and your freshly-picked friends sitting prettily atop my mantle. oh, daffodil...i don't know how to break this to you, girl--- but you smell like piss.

Friday, February 27, 2009

he draws like i dream

i first saw the work of anders nilsen on the covers and dust jackets of the hans christian andersen's fairy tales book pictured below and became mildly infatuated. even though i was not in need of a new copy of andersen's tales, i had to have this book. for the cover. he draws like i dream. his images tell of a place in that shady border between conscious living and the unconscious mind. it is moody and dark and deep and frightening and innocent and beautiful all at the same time. his images bear a cute familiarity...yet they manage to be cute without ever seeming trite, and then twist at once into something terrifyingly absurd. i can only describe his images as dreamlike---a tangle of the ordinary and the symbolic, both meaningful and meaningless, abundantly simplistic and haunting in their beauty.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Life Lessons with Deputy Dog

despite being aware of several of my what others might call personality flaws, (me, i call them "added bonuses!") mr. brown decided to marry me anyway. the one which is probably near the top of my list of annoying (i call them "unique") traits is my desire to have things neat & tidy. not just clean...Holly Clean. not that i obsess. i just like things to go where they go and for surfaces to be as clean as our lifestyle will allow. i have two kids and two dogs. one of my kids is allergic to our dogs. i have to be anal about this stuff. and it isn't that big a deal, really. especially since i am more than willing to do the cleaning--because, let's face it. if someone else does it, i will most likely do it again my way anyhow. and i'm faster than the average gal. it's just how i roll. again, there ain't no shame in my game.

and in the past four years i've spent as a stay-at-home mom, i've been able to hone my skills and pick up a few more. some of which i am not so proud. like the fact that i, much like your dog, have become able to identify the very different and distinct sounds of each car in the neighborhood. i know when Little Dick, our neighbor with the tiny little suzuki jacked up super high with gigantic wheels is coming home before he's even into sight. and when the little old man who cuts the grass for all the single moms on our street is heading home in his chevy cavalier. yet another reason besides my superior sense of smell for tony to have dubbed me Deputy Dog.

but i digress. i have many fabulous skills. one of them to be envied by all (i am so full of shit) is my ability to clean my house, all of it, in under an hour. and not just clean it---Holly Clean it. holla!

so here's how i do it. not that you care, but you may hate the chore and this is an easy and very quick way to get it done. i have a two-story cape. got an apartment or a one-story abode?'ll finish in 20 minutes, easy.

step one.....pick up all the crap that doesn't belong on the floor or in the room and put it in a laundry basket. repeat in all rooms until all the shit is up. then tote that shit around the house until it is all back in place. wait...your stuff doesn't have a place? i can't help you then. stop reading.

step 2, for those of you still with me......grab your bathroom & kitchen cleaning products and go spray/ sprinkle down the sinks, tubs, showers, toilets. leave this stuff to soak/ pre-treat.

step 3, ....dust.

step 4...vacuum. i follow it up with a good swiffering, too. but i have two asthmatic kids and two dogs. i go above and beyond because the kids' health depends on it.

step 5....mop? hell no. that's a sometimes task. step 5 is going in to the bathrooms and wiping everything down & rinsing. grime is gonna slide right off since you let it all soak while you were busy dusting & vacuuming. then clean your toilets. ick. i do it last, just like i always ate my vegetables last as a kid. save the WORST for last.

step 6...empty all trash bins.*

now you are fucking done. go pour yourself a cocktail or read or knit paint your nails or facebook or call a friend and gossip. you deserve it because, after all, you are a homemaking badass.

*on mondays and fridays....lookout! i get crazy and change sheets on 3 beds, too. and some wednesdays i mop. basically, i am way overqualified for my job.

pardon me.....

while i brag about my son's amazing artistic talents. the kid can draw just about anything right now, and in that innocent way that only a child can....a mix of fearlessness, imagination, and with complete faith in one's own powers of replication. i hope he never loses this talent. just look at this yoda. and this hulk. (i warned you at the beginning that i'd be bragging. humor me.)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

the incredible shrinking woman

since summer i have lost 20 lbs. yay! but now i have no clothes that fit. boo! over the past two days i scored big while thrifting. a couple of pairs of jeans (Gap long & lean them and delia's "morgan" cute!), two sweaters, one gray long cardigan that i could live in i love it so, a vintage red plaid camp shirt, three random shirts, and two pairs of green corduroys. i know...two pairs of green cords? they were each too good a find to leave behind. oh...and of course my lederhosen t-shirt. f@#*%ing yeah!

i had always been thin, and told that i was too thin about twice a week for a long time, until i got pregnant with angus. then it was as if evil little elves were sneaking into my bedroom at night and forcing me to eat high calorie treats while i slumbered. i'd wake up heavier every day and not know how in the world i was getting so big. seriously. i gained 80 lbs. during that pregnancy. 80 lbs! ridiculous! i lost all but 20 of my extra jiggles within 15 months of angy's arrival, so it wasn't that bad. (yes it was. imagine yourself, only nearly doubled in size. i was terrified i'd look like that forever.)

and later, at the very beginning of pregnancy #2 it became clear that i'd had a non-functioning thyroid for some time and that it must have played a factor in that boom babba boom phase of my life. hormone changes + under active was a long, hard, sleepy road. but then along came medicine, lots and lots of medicine changes over that pregnancy and then over the next two years or so after noodle was born. hormones are crazy active for a while during & after pregnancies, so i was all over the place. tired, hungry, hot & depressed and then BOOM!!! excited! racing heart! can't sleep! who needs food!? finally, my hormones leveled out this past summer and my metabolism decided to begin the hike back toward normal. hence the weight loss i have been achieving without actually trying. (which i think i deserve, given that for a year or more i was working out daily and not seeing any results at all. fair is fair, people.)

so, back after pregnancy #1 and again after #2, feeling totally discouraged about my new and unimproved body, i gave all of my skinny clothes to friends or charities. which i don't regret. i don't want to ever be a size 4 again. but i do miss having choices about what to wear that involve more than the "what fits?" factor. the ole closet is looking mighty slim on the skinny clothes now so i am on a mission to fill it with good stuff again. soon. now. and on a budget. okay...for next to nothing. there ain't no shame in my game, friends. you have cute size 6 stuff you aren't wearing anymore for one reason or another taking up space in your closet? bring it on. for real.

this is virginia....the end of march means nearly 80 degree temps, ya know. to all my ladies in rva, it's time to organize the spring/ summer clothes swap. i've been able to hold my pants up with a little help from my belts over the winter, but summer's right around the bend and i can't get away with belting my skirts that way and i really don't feel like altering all of my skirts to fit. i want them gone. size large, i am done with you. that winter swap was good to me and i'm ready to do it again. who's in?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

high five!!!

five years ago today, the mister and i walked out of what is most likely the tackiest of all vegas wedding chapels united in holy matrimony & coated in what could only be described as legally wedded bliss. as we exited, the "reverend" (a man who appeared to be disguised and was possibly a participant in the US government's witness protection program) congratulated us on what i thought was a well-concealed growing angus-shaped fetus nesting inside my body. the experience couldn't have felt more 100% vegas. unless, of course, i had been able to join in the free-drink fun all of our guests enjoyed.

thanks for making an honest woman out of me, mr. brown. i love being your wife. and i mean it this time.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

because angus said so

Me: what kind of cake should we make for grandpa's birthday, angus?
Angus: plex from yo gabba gabba.
Me: you're damn right!

happy birthday, daddy/ pawpaw. we love you immeasurably.

Monday, February 09, 2009

52 weeks in motherhood

this week i finished another photo project i'd been working on since february of last year. i'm feeling really good about how it all came together. sometime this week i should be receiving a copy of the set in photobook form. i love shutterfly.

Friday, February 06, 2009

photo of the week

world ball

World Ball
paintings and sculpture by
Tracey St. Peter

Friday, February 13
7 - 9 PM
Eric Schindler Gallery
2305 E. Broad Street Richmond, VA

I can't rave enough about her work. Come see it for yourself and stare in awe with me.