Saturday, September 03, 2011

five alarm burner

I've realized lately that I am raising the human boy equivalent of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. The Dude's comic sensibility and timing are pretty advanced for his age. Let's just say that if he were to POOF! into an episode of That 70's Show, my baby's comments would regularly be punctuated by a backup chorus of "Burn!" a la Michael Kelso. For example, The Dude has taken to sauntering over to grown men and saying, "Hey, man. Nice dress." When he tried it with me I said, "Thanks! I'm a girl so that wasn't insulting." To which he answered, "Oh. Hey, Mom. Nice hairy chest!" Burn!

And though you have to give him credit for being so savvy (and savvy it is, considering his age---however what is savvy at 4 is not so savvy at 13, but he's way ahead of the curve here), it can be obnoxious and we all know it is bound to backfire soon since he is ONLY FOUR and has zero understanding of where and when his gifts are deemed inappropriate.

I don't want to stifle his funny-bone (as if I could) but goddammit! he will eventually be embarrassing me bigtime with this baloney. But then, he is so very entertaining and much of his identity is tied up in how funny he is. So, I am torn. But I guess I'll have to let him hone his skills. He'll realize what boundaries he shouldn't cross sooner or later, like most comedians do. Maybe after he gets punched in the face a few times by kids who don't find him very funny. In the meantime, I'll just sit back and continue giggling with my little Triumph.

2nd Grade Comedian

The Unicorn and I have been reviewing a lot lately to make sure he's prepared for the first day of school on Tuesday. This exchange occurred yesterday, while blowing through some 1st grade flashcards. I think this smartass is ready for school, alright.

Me: (holding up a card that says "CAME")
Unicorn: My girlfriend comes to the Jerk Festival with me.
Me: (laughing) Try again.
Unicorn: OH! My girlfriend came with me to the Jerk Festival.
Me: Good. (holding up a card that says "WILL")
Unicorn: Will you go to the Prom with me? Or shall I say.... Jerk Festival?
Me: Good! (really laughing now and holding up a card that says "FIND")
Unicorn: (shrieks) I can't find the Jerk Festival!

goodbye, summer

so long, summer. you've been good to us this year. thanks for the good times.