Some things cracked me up bigtime today, and they are just too good to not share so here ya go. Plus I haven't posted in ages so I figured what the hell.
Well, this here photo is one of the funny things. Tony, I love you. Funny boys really are the keepers. Look at this man---straight up pimpin' through the wilderness with our double-wide stroller, ya'll. Holla!
Also, while driving through the city, Tony and I spotted an older woman (she looked ancient, but that just may be from hard living), dressed eerily similar to that hot mess Britney Spears in all those trash mag pre-psych ward shots. She was wearing a super short skirt, halter top, platform heels, big hair, fake tan...the works. She gave me the heebies and as we rolled past I pointed (such nice manners and such a kind heart, I know) and said, "Ick...cougar." Tony's reply slayed me: "Somebody call Animal Control!" I think it may become our new code for Prowlers.
And then a bit later on we took the kids to the river for a stroll around the Pony Pastures* and I made Tony & the kids escort me to the parking lot restrooms because they looked sketchy. "Walk me there," I demanded. "The restrooms look kinda rapey." Sometimes I make myself belly laugh and it usually is highly inappropriate. Plus, making up new words is almost always funny. To me, at least.
*Back in 1996, my old roomate Jenny and I went there to swim and saw some creep "watching" us and "entertaining himself" from the bushes, so I am well aware of the reality of danger in this specific location. That particular fellow didn't get away without a nice pelting courtesy of river rocks thrown by yours truly. My arm is golden...he was punished.
4 comments:
We're on a similar made up word mind set. After Hamlet, my friend Kim and I were making all sorts of jokes...rapey, rapier, rapiest. Oh, fencing humor.
but was the cougar wearing panties?
thank goodness i didn't have that kind of a view from our car. yikes. from the looks of it, i'd say there was a 50/50 chance of her going commando. she looked ready for action, if you know what i mean.
good times. "rapey" i'm totally going to use that. i say it's a contender to be added into websters.
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